G R I E F

-“He never loved me… he never will… he never cared.” She whispers…

Seating in her car parked outside her house after a long day at work. It was 8:00 in the morning. She worked all night, but the fatigue from working won’t let her forget the pain.

–“He never loved me, he never will, he never cared”.

Holding the wheel very tightly she kept on whispering again and again:

-“He never loved me, he never will, he never cared”.

Closing her eyes she’s reminding that for once in her life she had everything she needed and more.

–“He never loved me, he never will, he never cared”.

She had everything she could ask for. She was so happy that was too good to be true.

–“He never loved me, he never will, he never cared”.

She never felt that way before: happy, loved, sexy, and desired.

She was on top of the world, she felt floating in the skies, but suddenly she was falling at high speed to the ground.

–“He never loved me, he never will, he never cared”.

Tears comes out. It was all over now… she was there in her car whispering that phrase to convince herself…

–“He never loved me, he never will, he never cared”.

That whatever happened was not her fault…

–“He never loved me, he never will, he never cared”.

Because she gave it all… she did it all right. She truly loved, she cared, even though she still had things to learn, she was open to change, be better, and keep making things right. She gave her heart and soul.

–“He never loved me, he never will, he never cared”.

Did she give too much? Maybe more than anyone could.

–“He never loved me, he never will, he never cared”.

He’s dead now; there’s no way he’s coming back. There’s no way he’ll be back to love her, talk to her, to touch her, to feel her, to kiss her, lover her or hate her; to be part of her days, to be the number one on her priority list, to be her favorite, to be the one she has ever loved, to be the only reason to move on and be whatever she wanted to be. He’s buried now, with all her memories in a box six feet underground, where the worms are eating his body, his eyes, his brain and his testicles, where he’s soon to be bones and nothing more.

 

Days went by and yet and she couldn’t find peace. She was still grieving. Repeating that phrase as a prayer every single day was not enough.

–“He never loved me, he never will, he never cared”.

She felt like a walking dead, was completely fine and healthy on the outside, but inside, she was missing a lung, a leg, an ear, an arm, an eye, her heart was in pieces, she looked unhuman, she was limping, crawling, sometimes dragging herself to get from one place to another; could barely speak, was coughing and peeing blood, puking everything she ate, she was dying…

Needed something to end up with the pain, so she realized dying was the best way to start over, start fresh and be happy again.

So she took a shovel and went to his tomb and started digging thinking:

–“He never loved me, he never will, he never cared”.

She bled her hands out from digging nonstop, whispering:

–“He never loved me, he never will, he never cared”.

She knew bringing him back wouldn’t make any difference, but there was a little tiny hope… miracles could happen.

Dug up his body and unbelievably she had him in from of her… He smelled like putrefaction, all cover in mud but still she was happy again, she could smell him, she could touch him, she could talk to him. She seduced him and made love to his dead body like never before. But happiness didn’t last long; there was an akward silence, she felt empty, the joy was gone, he wans’t there any more, no matter how many times she digs up that dead body, he’s never coming back.

Next thing, she took a knife, put it on his dead useless hands and stab herself right through her heart understaning  “he never loved her, he never will, he never cared”.

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