PostMortem 2019, SORRY NOT SORRY.

Was a fantastic year.

2019 is when my life in Panama officially started after living in the US.

Got a great job, finished my Master’s degree, danced all year long and learned a lot, went to places I’ve never been before, met fascinating people that somehow inspired me, fell in love in 14 hours, no doubt it’s been great.

Founded a ladies team in La Chorrera and won a salsa soloist contest.

Sexually I’ve succeeded my expectations, I was adventurous and met this guy that in one day took me to the moon and further, although we don’t talk anymore, he somehow enlightened me. Yeah… being single again… SO HARD.

But I’m not here to brag about all the positive things that happened. I’ve been obviously working hard so that’s what we get when we do things in the right way. Let’s focus on mistakes that I can learn from:

LOVE

2019 taught me that love is the most beautiful feeling ever leading you from thinking which wedding dress would look better in you to a sudden break up. Yes! I had already everything figured out before even having a formal proposal. But somehow, just the thought of getting married caused me stomachache. I wasn’t ready yet.

My break up knocked me down, but I learned that once I let the pain kick in I’m able to get up pretty quickly, I got stronger and wiser after dealing with this new situation in life.

The solution: I danced it away.

INDEPENDENCE

I moved out of my parents’ house, and I’m happier in my own space. NOW I’m struggling with being more organized with cooking, home tasks, finances, and all mixed with my job, dance classes, team training, solo training, dating, and a bunch of other stuff that pops up in my mind.

The solution: I bought a whiteboard to write down daily tasks/goals. That board is next to the other chalkboard that has the yearly goals.

PROFESSIONALLY

I’ve done things I know are not right, I’ve said things I wish I haven’t said to other people, I’ve been dramatic and I’ve mistaken a lot, in my job, in my love live, in my dance life, but if you ask me, I would do it again! SORRY NOT SORRY, I learned, I’m wiser I’m better.

Solution: Gotta stop thinking that my succeed or that my happiness hurt other people.

SPIRITUALLY:

I let other people’s shit to get to me… I gave them the power to knock me down taking me out of balance affecting my health and my mind. It is because I hate conflict, I tried to have everybody happy and started to feel sorry for anything I was doing.
But we can’t’ feel guilty when we’re happy doing something we love to do or for being with someone you love.

Solution: Gym and Meditation. I’m pretty basic meditating but when I do it, I can feel the peace and I can reset myself. Meditation helps me to continue living in my wonderland even surrounded by shitty people.

My 2019 was pretty challenging, but was FANTASTIC. the reason I share my postmortemis to show you that it’s great when we accomplish every goal we were supposed to, but when we don’t, we have to stay positive, be confident, improvise, and learn, because next time, we’ll know exactly what we’re doing and how to manage the situation.

For 2020, love, laugh, fuck, learn, dance, fly, be yourself, be grateful and GET CRAZY.


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